The night train

Sat on the night train
Just my pen and regrets again.
When I get home I just hope you're awake.
I ran to the station
A peculiar sensation
That not seeing you in days is making me break.

I rehearse what I might say
That, "this is the last day
I'll let anybody take me from you."
But you and I both know
That soon I'll have to go.
Why it's like this I haven't a clue.

I should have been there
When we had that last scare.
It wasn't my choice, but I chose I suppose.
You're fine and that thrills me.
You were scared and that kills me.
The last lost moments go where nobody knows.

Remember that jigsaw?
And the dusty old flat floor?
We laughed and talked until morning came.
This time when I tried
With my immature pride
I ruined the night worrying it wasn't the same.

These days I'm not sure
Of who I was before
Time and again I just fall back down.
But please, please believe me
That the thing that you can't see
Is me loving you means I won't drown.