Today I
lost myself
This
has happened a few times before.
I
forgot who I am and what makes me,
I fell
out of myself at the door.
I
watched as I was manic,
Selfish
with time and attention.
I
cringed as I listened intently
To my
lack of sincere intention.
With or
at? At or with?
A
spectacle or experience shared?
I’ll
say something else as always,
Too
afraid to not be heard.
Then
manic gives way to loathing.
“In
their eyes, a cartoon I’ve become!”
I want
to show them I’m real
But my
real will be boring to some.
At home
I’m honestly me
But
there I’m old and tired.
She
deserves those men in the stories-
They're interesting and inspired.
It’s
just another day
Tomorrow
will be better or worse.
Maybe
the same will happen.
For her, I’m becoming a curse.
